A flower sculpture that I picked up at last week's RFL art auction...

I'm doing my best not to let RFL Burnout hit early, but I am really getting sick of the notices going out.

I've dumped LME and I'm ready to dump RFL it if continues to annoy me.

The builder notices have come via privately-send Notecards, so there's no point in my being in that group if I'm not going to any of these events, right?

As for the next builder meetup, I think I'm going to be up in Tomball at a crawdad boil. Been doing more meatspace stuff these days.

And there's always Astros games. Oh, the Astros games. Hurt me good, baby.

Not that it would do me any good to for me to be at the meetup. I've made zero progress on my project.

Zero. Zilch. Nothing. Jack Shit and the Squatettes.

My muses have been utterly silent on that front. I think about it for a minute, and I hit a huge void in my head.

I had so much steam going on it and then... poof. Gone.

If anybody offers to help me hear them better, pushes me, pokes me... well, it's not a good idea when I'm in this kind of mood. I'm going to lash out and lash out really nasty, because it's a real sore point with me when something hits a brick wall and just sticks there.

I do not like it when I completely lose momentum on something and I'm stuck in the mud.

Yeah yeah yeah, when Vint nagged me on the NIRPL Garden of Earthly Delights, I fell into the Rezzable thing. But there was a spark... and ember still flickering... and the water pipes were flowing and I thought "It's all just one big goddamned joke on the drops of water, isn't it?"

And when I got time to start the build, it exploded out of my hand.

But with this maze, the spark is not hitting me at all right now. It's stone cold, and I'm gritting my teeth really hard on it.

Maybe if the sims were there and in place, I'd be rolling up my sleeves and doing it. Doodling... dragging up some stuff and tinkering with textures...

No, it's not sparking. Even if I had the space, which I've been offered, it's sitting cold in my mind.

But submitting plans... submitting requests... get your plans together by this date... meetings and meetings and meetings...

AN ARTIST DOES NOT MAKE FUCKING REQUESTS! AN ARTIST DESIGNS AND BUILDS ON THEIR OWN GODDAMNED TERMS! GRAB UP THE KIDS AND CHARGE THE SANDBOX LIKE A BATTLEFIELD! YOU SET THE CHARGES, AND YOU FUCKING RUN FOR COVER AS THE CRAZIES TAKE THE FIELD!

(cough)

Anybody who tries to put a leash on me when I am exhausted and frustrated and licking my self-inflicted wounds, I'm going to growl, I'm going to snarl, and I'm, going to wrap it around their neck and strangle them with it.

I'm tired. I'm snarly. I feel like I'm being dry-fired over and over.

Oh well.

It's a pretty flower.